How it feels to be depressed.
Ever wondered how to empathise with somebody who suffered / suffers mental illness? Well, here's just a tiny whiff into their live, just for a day may be, or even a couple of hours.
I'm sure you've woken up at least a couple of nights in your entire life, because you had a nightmare? or because something was disturbing you and you just couldn't fall asleep?
Ever read one of those scary novels or watched a chilling scene in a scary movie and it gave you the heebie jeebies? WELL THAT'S JUST OUR LIFE.
It's not about not loving ourself. It doesn't look like we lie in bed all day and want to be isolated all the time. It's not like we don't like hanging out with out friends or that we are going to cry at every other second. Lastly, it's not like we hate the world, we don't. It's just difficult, that's all.
Depression is not feeling sad. It's a mental disease. You read word correctly right? So let's split it up? 'DIS - EASE' , which means not at easy.
Can you imagine a day where you're trying to breath but all you can feel is pain in your throat and your voice getting all wobbly every time you try to talk? So you just end up not saying anything at all. Even if you do, trying to find those words that fit and make sense for what you're feeling just seems like an impossible task. It's that that makes it so difficult for us to talk, come out and socialise with friends or just meet people in general.
It's that's why sometimes we choose to stay in bed instead, because it's so much easier. You can just let it out and cry. No words. It's a painful sound, but that vacuum around you, somehow understands you. Can you imagine a world, how it would be if people stopped understanding you and your comfort was vacuum and empty spaces? It sucks to have that image in your head right? That's why I say it's untrue that we love to stay in bed, it's probably not the best, but like you see, it seems like our only choice.
Isolation comes into the picture only when we start understanding a little but of what's happening with us. We try to form words and sentences that may make some sense so it get's easier to communicate. That is not easy though. We still face a great deal of either misunderstanding, or just not being understood at all. It's your friends who comfort you right? so when I would talk to them, and they would feel bad and worried, it felt like a burden, I felt like a burden. So the process of disconnection and somehow failure creeps into us, making it harder for to wake up every morning and feel like it's going to be ok.
It feels terrible to be in this place, where you feel like every part of this world is out to eat you and there's no escape. Everything is wrong and everything hurts. It feels like someone is holding you down and piercing something into your hands and you have an extra pair of hands but you don't know what to do with them. I know I want to run, but I have huge iron chains tied to my legs that it's so heavy I can't even move it an inch. It feels like my eyes will dry up if I end up crying anymore.
It feels like death is only coming close to you by every passing minute. I'm getting sucked into the darkness where I'm alone and soon will not be a part of this world, but that doesn't scare me anymore, because I already feel like I don't belong here.. anymore..
I tried, I tried to fall in love with me, it was too hard, so i gave up.
Life seemed like a blurry picture. I was a blurry picture..
I'm sure you've woken up at least a couple of nights in your entire life, because you had a nightmare? or because something was disturbing you and you just couldn't fall asleep?
Ever read one of those scary novels or watched a chilling scene in a scary movie and it gave you the heebie jeebies? WELL THAT'S JUST OUR LIFE.
It's not about not loving ourself. It doesn't look like we lie in bed all day and want to be isolated all the time. It's not like we don't like hanging out with out friends or that we are going to cry at every other second. Lastly, it's not like we hate the world, we don't. It's just difficult, that's all.
Depression is not feeling sad. It's a mental disease. You read word correctly right? So let's split it up? 'DIS - EASE' , which means not at easy.
Can you imagine a day where you're trying to breath but all you can feel is pain in your throat and your voice getting all wobbly every time you try to talk? So you just end up not saying anything at all. Even if you do, trying to find those words that fit and make sense for what you're feeling just seems like an impossible task. It's that that makes it so difficult for us to talk, come out and socialise with friends or just meet people in general.
It's that's why sometimes we choose to stay in bed instead, because it's so much easier. You can just let it out and cry. No words. It's a painful sound, but that vacuum around you, somehow understands you. Can you imagine a world, how it would be if people stopped understanding you and your comfort was vacuum and empty spaces? It sucks to have that image in your head right? That's why I say it's untrue that we love to stay in bed, it's probably not the best, but like you see, it seems like our only choice.
Isolation comes into the picture only when we start understanding a little but of what's happening with us. We try to form words and sentences that may make some sense so it get's easier to communicate. That is not easy though. We still face a great deal of either misunderstanding, or just not being understood at all. It's your friends who comfort you right? so when I would talk to them, and they would feel bad and worried, it felt like a burden, I felt like a burden. So the process of disconnection and somehow failure creeps into us, making it harder for to wake up every morning and feel like it's going to be ok.
It feels terrible to be in this place, where you feel like every part of this world is out to eat you and there's no escape. Everything is wrong and everything hurts. It feels like someone is holding you down and piercing something into your hands and you have an extra pair of hands but you don't know what to do with them. I know I want to run, but I have huge iron chains tied to my legs that it's so heavy I can't even move it an inch. It feels like my eyes will dry up if I end up crying anymore.
It feels like death is only coming close to you by every passing minute. I'm getting sucked into the darkness where I'm alone and soon will not be a part of this world, but that doesn't scare me anymore, because I already feel like I don't belong here.. anymore..
I tried, I tried to fall in love with me, it was too hard, so i gave up.
Life seemed like a blurry picture. I was a blurry picture..
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