Thursday, 16 August 2018

Ah! Mumbai :)

What can I say about this city that hasn’t already been said! 
Even after living here all my life, this city proves time and again why it has my heart, and it will forever. 

With time, this city has become difficult to live in, and I will openly accept that. The traffic is driving us nuts, the Mumbai rains are famous for helping us stop for one whole day, almost forcing us to rest it out. 
There are some things that still help us maintain our sanity. Do I need to remind you how beautiful marine drive is that night? And oh, don’t forget that chai we all drink listening to the sound of the waves, because that midnight tea is the best. It’s almost like the silence consumes you, and you feel alive all over again. 

Guess what, that’s not all. Today I heard the most incredible story in a very long time. Just makes me realise that hard work and good people can help change your life, irrespective of where you are. 

I took a rick back home from Bandra, around 7, so no prizes for guessing it was one long ride, and a cheerful driver to make it better. Mr. Thakur, my driver has been doing this job for 40 odd years now. He has 2 daughters who are teaches and one son who is an IPS officer and works with the government. Oh, not to forget, he got married and educated his wife too, and she is a teacher as well. He lives in a 2BHK and now works because his heart belongs within the city. He told me in hindi, "Everyone needs to get home at the end of the day, and I am here to do just that. I am old but fit enough to work. I start my day at 4pm and end it at 8pm. Home is something everyone wants to build, and home is beautiful. I want to help someone make that for themselves.”
OH MY GOD! who ever thought like that? I honestly thought the universe had stopped making such people anymore. 

As odd as it sounds, I almost teared up to this wonderful conversation with my rickshaw driver. Well at the end after he dropped me, he thanked me for listening to him. Lets just say we both got a smile on each other’s face. 

I bet we all have tough jobs\ lives and do a lot to make ends meet. Don’t give up easily though, you never know when it will all start working. Go build a beautiful home for yourself, because you need to go back there, find the love and the strength, because you need to make the magic work all over again the next morning. 
Oh also, don’t forget to thank your driver or give him\her that big toothy smile, you never know who’s heart you touch :) 

Wednesday, 15 August 2018

What is actually right?

Scroll through youtube or blogs, you come across more self love and de stressing videos and text, than anything else. It got me thinking, is it really that bad? Or has our generation really become so seduced to the idea of trying to built a perfect future in this rat race that we all forget to give ourselves some time. 

We all have those friends who say, ‘Dude you never meet ya, you are always busy.. etc’
 Well yes, we do have jobs, we do have work that makes us tired and sometimes we are selfish and say I want this one sunday to myself. Is that too bad? Or is age just hitting me real hard? 

I love it when we all can just make time and sit down with those friends you have’t met in ages and just chat like nothing has changed!
Sometimes though unfortunately it doesn’t happen right? 

So it’s ok. Don’t keep holding that against them, for all you know you’re pushing them away further right? Give them some time to figure it out and get back. Before they get back if you go nudging them a billion times in three days they will definitely never want to see you again. 

Some people just like their space more than the rest, and some people want people around them irrespective. You just need to know which amongst the two category of people you belong to. That’s all. Instead of doing every sunday, do alternate one’s? I mean is that so bad?

I like some space!! There I said it. Doesn’t mean I don’t like people. I love them more than you can probably imagine. 
I also like alternate sunday’s better. That’s all. 

So who is really right?
Well, let me burst your bubble, none. 
Each one always has a version of their events right? this is exactly that. It’s just how people are. 
We as responsible adults just need to learn to respect that and move on. 

It’s a happier universe than you image, believe me. 
The minute you know that, things just somehow always fall in place. 

Saturday, 23 June 2018

Humility the cuss word.

Our generation today only wants the best for themselves. No body wants to settle for anything else, and they shouldn’t, honestly. 
At what cost though?
Learning to be manipulative, create a toxic environment around and up the game so the other will lose? subtly find ways to cheat the other so you get what you want? 
Really? Is that the healthiest way to go about it?
Just think about it for a while. 

If someone is nice, you think they are too nice. Oh! He’s being so nice, I wonder what he wants. I feel so sad to say it out loud, but I have heard this multiple times, ‘Oh she’s so humble, that’s why people walk all over her, no wonder she can’t ever get that high position in life’ 

When did humility and kindness being such a curse? Since when did being nice to someone become something one looks down upon?
Do you know if you have a personal opinion that sometimes doesn’t match the majority, you don not say it out loud in order to be the one singled out?

In a world where mental health has become such a talked upon subject, we still continue to treat other people like this. 
You probably don’t realise this, but you could be a major cause for someone’s mental unstably. 

Why do we take this so lightly?
If your younger sibling/ child was going through this and you could see them suffer, I bet you wouldn’t just sit around and watch them suffer. YOU would step up. YOU would do something about it. So why do YOU let this happen to yourself?

Take a stand, correct someone when you can, or just find a way to deal with this in a healthy manner, because YOU are worth it. You always are.

A healthy mind in the end is a happy life. 

Thursday, 21 June 2018

Love in a South Indian household.

Mind you, I missed out the word 'middle class’ in the title. 

It has taken me a few years, a lot of weddings I shoot, and a very good dinner date with this amazing lady who I won’t name, to realise that we as South Indian kids have got the whole concept of love wrong. 
Well, not wrong entirely, but let’s just say that the kind of normal punjabi house hold love, was only Karan Johar movies for us. I didn’t realise that was normal for them, until one day a punjabi friend told me I do not know how to love someone. 

I found that very odd and strange to believe, because I for a fact was sure that I love a lot of my friends, I love my family, I love coffee too (ok it’s not a human being, but it could be!!). So what did she really mean by it?
OK yes it took me very long to hug someone and not be awkward, I have never kissed my friends on their cheeks, like all those typical Instagram photos of girlfriends. I never hugged my mom every morning for 20 years of my life. If at any point I wished my parents Happy mother’s day \ father’s day they would respond with a smile and say ‘Hmmm… how is school?’ or ‘Look I made your favourite, onion sambar (it meant) I love you. And that’s the extent of love I knew. Things, smile, awkward hug= love. 

Until I grew up and could watch movies of my choice, and read books or articles online to see what real love actually was. I kid you not, it felt like a revelation. Once I started work and started shooting weddings for a living, my head went like, ‘OH MY GOD!!!!’ They say ‘I love you’ out loud!!! and they hug and everyone seems happy!!! 

Wait… WHAT!!!

So not every family holiday starts with a quarrel of the parents and siblings poorly dressed or clearly unhappy? and not every happy occasion only deserves a firm handshake? Was Karan Johar for real?

Yes my friend, he was. So was I. 
We just found two very different ways to express the same concept called LOVE. 
It was like we were twins, but just not identical. We did the same, but just differently. 

It has taken me 4 years of knowing my closest friends to finally say I love you on the phone at the end of a conversation and not feel shy. 
I may be haven’t even said it to all my closest friends, but I will, soon. 

Just be aware though, if I give you sambar the next time you’re at home, it does mean that I love you :)

                                                    Oh look, awkward child trying the selfie game :)


                                              Oh look awkward child when she's actually happy

Friday, 26 January 2018

I don't want to move to America, so what?

I apologise for the silence from my end. I know it's been a while.
But it's given me some times to think, and now I wonder. Does everybody judge everyone else's choices around them?

I have been asked this question a billion times so far, 'Are you not going to shift to America like your brother and find a well paying job?' 

What is wrong with what I do now?

So last evening I bumped into an old aunty who used to live in the adjoining building to us.
She had only two question to ask me beyond the courteous how are you, 'What do you do apart from photography for work' I very hesitantly responded, 'That is what I do for a living, and I love my job', to which she checked me out head to toe like oh dear god, give this poor child some sense.
Her second question to me was 'Your brother is of marriageable age, so when will he get married?' To which I smiled and replied, 'Why does everyone get married?' She instantly crossed the street and said goodbye.

Now what do I make of this? That the only job a child of a South Indian household does is either technical or an IT job? Or the fact that our "PROGRESSIVE" society as we call it, has in fact not progressed at all.

Does only moving to America mean I have a good secure life? What's wrong with wanting to live here in Mumbai and do the same? Yes I invest, yes I buy groceries for the house, yes I buy my own clothes and make up or whatever other maintenance I have.

Why? don't they do the same there as well? Or does it mean that because people live there alone they are more independent and have a made a life for themselves. The only difference is I don't have my own tiny apartment here in a very expensive city like Mumbai. Is that why I haven't made it in life yet?

Well if yes, I'm sorry to have disappointed you random aunty. So far my parents are very happy with where I have gotten today. In fact, to your surprise, I also think they may feel proud.  I'm sorry I didn't make it big in your eyes, or is it probably because your vision is so narrow that I have no space to grow.

I am happy with my well paying job and my independent life in the city of Mumbai.

Wednesday, 15 November 2017

Self Help

Ever wonder why they call it Self Help?
Well it had been a while since I wanted to read one, so recently I picked up one called, non violent communication. It spoke about various aspects in life. But out of all I read, I picked up on this one thing that stuck to me like nothing else. (little did I know reading on flights would help so much) 

How do we project anger? Did you ever just stop to think?

Our hearts does a lot more than just pump blood to our body and lee us alive. It leads to the stomach. The stomach that doesn’t just digest food, but also is the pit to all your feelings. 
Do you ever feel hollow even after you’ve eaten? If yes, you know what I mean. 

Sometimes we say a lot of things without understanding, but it is in the spur of the moment. Sometimes we pile things up in our hearts and the just spill it out all at once, because we have been scared to say it all this while. But who have we been scared to say it to? Ourselves or someone else? 

We tend to find similarities and faults in others so we can relate to it. Sometimes it’s just a way of communication to ourselves through others. 
Sometimes we just need to hear it loud and clear, it’s when we can’t figure it out. 

No book has ever made so much sense to me, but that one. 
It just made me think, have I ever done that? 
YES! A Thousand times. No, you will not recognise it for the longest time. It is not invisible either. It’s just a tiny shiny objects sitting in your bag. You always tend to find it when you are looking for something else. 
It’s like that important project you have to submit at school, you hate doing it, it makes you angry. You cry in frustration and you need help, but you will never ask for it. 

So there’s a tiny assignment I did myself recently. The last time I actually had a bad day, I just sat myself and thought about the week, and the events in my life. Mainly the things that upset me. Guess what, it worked. It was actually something I wanted to say NO to, but I did it anyway. Then I did crib about it like anyone else would. I wasn’t mad at the job, I was mad at myself for not saying no. So I ended up telling myself that the person who made me do this is so mean, and made up more theories to support my illusion. 

You know there’s that shiny object right there, you just can’t see it. 
It’s just makes it so much easier. 
You’ll be happier than you ever imagined. 

Tuesday, 14 November 2017

Bon Appetit.

I’m sure you all know when one says that. Ever wondered how that works with life?
Be it relationships, or work, it’s always going to take a huge chunk out of your life. 

So here’s a question, and no, I don’t need an answer out loud, this one is just for you ; Do you love your bed more than yourself? I’m sorry to disrupt this relationship a little bit, but I need you to do this for me. 

So one day is fairly long right? we do have time to gossip, or just sit and stare into blank space? 
Well…. what if we take that time and just do something we like? Don’t be too lazy, come on, I know you can do it. Carry that book around in your bag if that makes you feel better.  You like food? or just a quiet cup of coffee by yourself? Ok great, whats stopping you from doing that? 
It’ll take you only 15 minutes I promise. 
Please give it a shot?

Much like the yummy food we eat, our brain may like some of it too. Lets all take some time out of our busy lives to do something for ourselves. In this fast paced life we live, frustration and anger become very close to us. Here’s a tiny way to stay in touch with our roots. Because guess what, can you imagine a tree with no roots? 

Yes, exactly. I know you understand me. 
So get up, start slow. 10 minutes a day is perfect too. If not, 5 is a great place to start. 

Let’s look into that mirror every morning and learn to smile, because honey, if you don’t see it, no one will. It’s time to love.

Let’s have food, and this time not because we have to, but because we want to. 

It’s never to late. 
I hope this food tastes better now. 
Bon app├ętit.