Loving A Person With Anxiety
It's harder than you think. Believe me.
Also when someone uses the word 'Anxiety', I don't think that they realise its a mental disorder and that over 40 million people in the world suffer from it everyday, some reported and some not. Some aware of what to call it and some who just think that something's wrong with them .
It's a very difficult state of mind to deal with.
Loving somebody with anxiety is not easy either.
Remember that while loving and being there for them, you cannot fix them. It's a state of mind. No body can change that. The minute you try to fix them, you're only making them feel worst. They will feel even more alienated from the world and the process of breathing will only get harder. They will feel broken. There's nothing you can do will magically change their mental state or will suddenly make everything be ok. So don't force them to believe they're ok. They are not.
Just stick by them, talk to them, so they know they aren't alone. If you're a best friend/ boyfriend/ family member, go hug the person in front of you, you'll feel their body trembling, it's ok. Let it stop on it's own. Don't say anything. Let them know they are not alone. They just need to know that there's someone who loves them. A thigh hug, a kiss on the forehead, or just letting them squeeze your hand can just ease them into their pain. May be look into their eyes and say 'I'm here and I love you'.
( I cannot possibly even tell you how much difference that would make )
As a person who deals with anxiety, I can confidently tell you that it's very easy to feel victimised. That's the worst feeling. So tell your loved one's its ok. Don't let them feel like they are not normal. It's alright to have these things, and that it'll get ok when it has to. Accept the problem, and that you'll be around them to help them get out of this. It's not incurable. It's not something that makes them stupid, or unworthy of love, even though that's exactly how they feel.
The heightened state of mind, racing heart beats and trembling bodies can cause them to behave and react in certain ways that the other person may have never seen before. This is not unusual. Scientifically speaking, it's due to the lack of oxygen reaching the brain, and the signals not being read and accepted by the body. So wait for the body to calm down. It'll happen. It's only a span of a few minutes that the person may just end up crying and not making any sense at all. It'll all stop. Patience is the key to help your loved one get out of their panic attack.
----
Sometimes all we need to know is that we have someone with us. The world may only seem like its crumbling on us, and we're getting sucked into this big cave where we don't know how to get out of. All we need is some help to calm down, and see that light that's always been there, just to realise it's not dark anymore. Just to accept that we will eventually be ok, because beyond a point we'll be able to handle ourselves alone and never burden you with this anymore. It's only at the worst of the panic attack's we may want you to be there. This is temporary, it'll go. We'll be ok. It's just a matter of time & I'd really like you to stay..
Just for a while, feel dysfunctional with me..
Also when someone uses the word 'Anxiety', I don't think that they realise its a mental disorder and that over 40 million people in the world suffer from it everyday, some reported and some not. Some aware of what to call it and some who just think that something's wrong with them .
It's a very difficult state of mind to deal with.
Loving somebody with anxiety is not easy either.
Remember that while loving and being there for them, you cannot fix them. It's a state of mind. No body can change that. The minute you try to fix them, you're only making them feel worst. They will feel even more alienated from the world and the process of breathing will only get harder. They will feel broken. There's nothing you can do will magically change their mental state or will suddenly make everything be ok. So don't force them to believe they're ok. They are not.
Just stick by them, talk to them, so they know they aren't alone. If you're a best friend/ boyfriend/ family member, go hug the person in front of you, you'll feel their body trembling, it's ok. Let it stop on it's own. Don't say anything. Let them know they are not alone. They just need to know that there's someone who loves them. A thigh hug, a kiss on the forehead, or just letting them squeeze your hand can just ease them into their pain. May be look into their eyes and say 'I'm here and I love you'.
( I cannot possibly even tell you how much difference that would make )
As a person who deals with anxiety, I can confidently tell you that it's very easy to feel victimised. That's the worst feeling. So tell your loved one's its ok. Don't let them feel like they are not normal. It's alright to have these things, and that it'll get ok when it has to. Accept the problem, and that you'll be around them to help them get out of this. It's not incurable. It's not something that makes them stupid, or unworthy of love, even though that's exactly how they feel.
The heightened state of mind, racing heart beats and trembling bodies can cause them to behave and react in certain ways that the other person may have never seen before. This is not unusual. Scientifically speaking, it's due to the lack of oxygen reaching the brain, and the signals not being read and accepted by the body. So wait for the body to calm down. It'll happen. It's only a span of a few minutes that the person may just end up crying and not making any sense at all. It'll all stop. Patience is the key to help your loved one get out of their panic attack.
----
Sometimes all we need to know is that we have someone with us. The world may only seem like its crumbling on us, and we're getting sucked into this big cave where we don't know how to get out of. All we need is some help to calm down, and see that light that's always been there, just to realise it's not dark anymore. Just to accept that we will eventually be ok, because beyond a point we'll be able to handle ourselves alone and never burden you with this anymore. It's only at the worst of the panic attack's we may want you to be there. This is temporary, it'll go. We'll be ok. It's just a matter of time & I'd really like you to stay..
Just for a while, feel dysfunctional with me..
Comments
Post a Comment