Love in a South Indian household.




Mind you, I missed out the word 'middle class’ in the title. 

It has taken me a few years, a lot of weddings I shoot, and a very good dinner date with this amazing lady who I won’t name, to realise that we as South Indian kids have got the whole concept of love wrong. 
Well, not wrong entirely, but let’s just say that the kind of normal punjabi house hold love, was only Karan Johar movies for us. I didn’t realise that was normal for them, until one day a punjabi friend told me I do not know how to love someone. 

I found that very odd and strange to believe, because I for a fact was sure that I love a lot of my friends, I love my family, I love coffee too (ok it’s not a human being, but it could be!!). So what did she really mean by it?
OK yes it took me very long to hug someone and not be awkward, I have never kissed my friends on their cheeks, like all those typical Instagram photos of girlfriends. I never hugged my mom every morning for 20 years of my life. If at any point I wished my parents Happy mother’s day \ father’s day they would respond with a smile and say ‘Hmmm… how is school?’ or ‘Look I made your favourite, onion sambar (it meant) I love you. And that’s the extent of love I knew. Things, smile, awkward hug= love. 

Until I grew up and could watch movies of my choice, and read books or articles online to see what real love actually was. I kid you not, it felt like a revelation. Once I started work and started shooting weddings for a living, my head went like, ‘OH MY GOD!!!!’ They say ‘I love you’ out loud!!! and they hug and everyone seems happy!!! 

Wait… WHAT!!!

So not every family holiday starts with a quarrel of the parents and siblings poorly dressed or clearly unhappy? and not every happy occasion only deserves a firm handshake? Was Karan Johar for real?

Yes my friend, he was. So was I. 
We just found two very different ways to express the same concept called LOVE. 
It was like we were twins, but just not identical. We did the same, but just differently. 

It has taken me 4 years of knowing my closest friends to finally say I love you on the phone at the end of a conversation and not feel shy. 
I may be haven’t even said it to all my closest friends, but I will, soon. 

Just be aware though, if I give you sambar the next time you’re at home, it does mean that I love you :)




                                                    Oh look, awkward child trying the selfie game :)

                                           







                                              Oh look awkward child when she's actually happy





Comments

  1. Nikhila D.2 July 2018 at 00:46

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  2. Nikhila D.2 July 2018 at 00:51

    I totally get what you say, Anupa. It took me until I entered my twenties to get comfortable hugging my friends. I still don't kiss them and feels really awkward when they try to kiss me; oh and the list goes on. You know what I mean!

    And, I don't have any hard feelings about it, either. I loved your analogy to the nonidentical twins. We express our 'love' and 'feelings' slightly differently. Our devil is in the detail, you see ;)

    It was nice stumbling upon your blog :)

    Cheers!
    Nikhila
    https://nikhiladblog.wordpress.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anupa Rao14 August 2020 at 03:19

      It's so good to know I'm not the only one!!!! Phew! I have company. Thank you for taking the time to read this. It means a lot

      Delete
  3. wpc15 October 2018 at 09:09

    Hey Nice Blog!! Thanks For Sharing!!!Wonderful blog & good post.Its really helpful for me, waiting for a more new post. Keep Blogging!
    Wedding Photographer

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    Replies
    1. Anupa Rao14 August 2020 at 03:20

      This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete

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