Sprinkled Words

  Just as I cleaned my balcony, only to find buds and flowers in bloom on the floor, I realized that, life is just like that bunch of buds on the floor.  The uncertainty will hit you when you least expect it, or you’re half way there.  Pull up your socks. Keep room for growth. Believe & breathe.  Let go of the pain, find comfort. Slow down.  You will start to grow and bloom again.  Sometimes that will fix most of life.  You won’t just be a fallen flower 

 Everyone who knows me well enough knows that I have become this little plant mom. Yes, may be its a part of growing up, because beautiful ceramic planters nowadays excite me the most! This development has surely happened over the last 4 years, but it's been the most exciting. I have built myself a little forest in my balcony, and now it's started to make it's way inside the house, and it's never felt better. You know when you go on those little getaways and your tiny villa is surrounded by tress and the sound of birds, and you wake up to this, it feels so good and refreshing right? Well, I will be honest, the joy is not as much, but you're still half way there, and that's pretty damn amazing for a workday at home. You wake up to the smell of a little greenery, and feeling refreshed before you have actually done anything. I'm listing down a few reasons for why we need to do this more. This is coming from a personal space, and luckily also backed by science. ...

  It's almost 5 months in now, quarantine life has its perks I must admit. Waking up slightly later if you can, minus the commute time, some morning coffee in bed before the day actually begins, and ooh, you can happily work in lounge wear!  Come on! It's comfortable, you know that! Honestly it was easy to build a routine and clock in and clock out at the end of the day, yes, clocking out took more effort, but it happened. Video calls were never my thing, but I got used to it, and somehow, the fact that I didn't have to actually be around people made me a little happy, somewhere, maybe that's because I'm quarantined with family. Although I've always been of the opinion that one must enjoy their own company too, from time to time. Now, we seem to be doing a lot of it, obviously, and I'm starting to get very comfortable with this.  The thought of meeting people scares me a little, for sure, given the scenario in the world, but also, I don't feel like going...

 When we are young, we are always taught to share, respect each other, help the other, take care of  people around you etc, which are all excellent virtues to have, I accept that.  Although somewhere down the line, we forget to take care of ourselves, to put our happiness at a position it deserves to be. We do grow up to get caught in chasing our dreams, trying to strike the right balance with our work and our life, buying a house, catching flights, that somehow, we don't see ourselves anymore. We end up seeing  the professionals we are, and forget the people we are.  Here's how I see it. Isn't the only constant in your life, you? and isn't it safe to call ourselves, our body, home? Why have we somehow never taken this seriously?  Well it's safe to say this pandemic has taught everyone to slow down and somehow self-care has become a new thing to do.  Did we need a pandemic to remind us how to take care? I wish we didn't but it's true. We finally know t...

  This pandemic has raised so many questions, as many as the world tried to answer, I'm sure you did too, on a personal level. Do I really need this? Is this still important? If I lose my job what will I do? Does what I do even matter? Well the truth is, nobody knows, at least for now. As times are changing, we are evolving, and every day seems like a bunch of new questions.  We are trained to question and solve problems, so believe me, we will always come up with answers. The real question you need to answer is, 'Do you want to stay?'   Let's go back to some essentials. I'm sure a lot of us are still stuck at home. We have learnt to take care of ourselves &  our homes. Some of us built spaces we like spending more time in, some of us took it upon us to revamp everything, as unsettled as it all was, we found a new way to settle down. We tried a bunch of new things, like cooking, growing out our beards\ eyebrows, some of us grew more plants or got puppies. Aren...

 This has taken longer than it should.  I did pen down a lot but somehow never got to putting it up here. Hoping to make this a more regular thing.  Stay tuned, you may find some things interesting.  Lots of love. 

What can I say about this city that hasn’t already been said!  Even after living here all my life, this city proves time and again why it has my heart, and it will forever.  With time, this city has become difficult to live in, and I will openly accept that. The traffic is driving us nuts, the Mumbai rains are famous for helping us stop for one whole day, almost forcing us to rest it out.  There are some things that still help us maintain our sanity. Do I need to remind you how beautiful marine drive is that night? And oh, don’t forget that chai we all drink listening to the sound of the waves, because that midnight tea is the best. It’s almost like the silence consumes you, and you feel alive all over again.  Guess what, that’s not all. Today I heard the most incredible story in a very long time. Just makes me realise that hard work and good people can help change your life, irrespective of where you are.  I took a rick back home from Ba...

Scroll through youtube or blogs, you come across more self love and de stressing videos and text, than anything else. It got me thinking, is it really that bad? Or has our generation really become so seduced to the idea of trying to built a perfect future in this rat race that we all forget to give ourselves some time.  We all have those friends who say, ‘Dude you never meet ya, you are always busy.. etc’  Well yes, we do have jobs, we do have work that makes us tired and sometimes we are selfish and say I want this one sunday to myself. Is that too bad? Or is age just hitting me real hard?  I love it when we all can just make time and sit down with those friends you have’t met in ages and just chat like nothing has changed! Sometimes though unfortunately it doesn’t happen right?  So it’s ok. Don’t keep holding that against them, for all you know you’re pushing them away further right? Give them some time to figure it out and get back. Bef...

Our generation today only wants the best for themselves. No body wants to settle for anything else, and they shouldn’t, honestly.  At what cost though? Learning to be manipulative, create a toxic environment around and up the game so the other will lose? subtly find ways to cheat the other so you get what you want?  Really? Is that the healthiest way to go about it? Just think about it for a while.  If someone is nice, you think they are too nice. Oh! He’s being so nice, I wonder what he wants. I feel so sad to say it out loud, but I have heard this multiple times, ‘Oh she’s so humble, that’s why people walk all over her, no wonder she can’t ever get that high position in life’  When did humility and kindness being such a curse? Since when did being nice to someone become something one looks down upon? Do you know if you have a personal opinion that sometimes doesn’t match the majority, you don not say it out loud in order to be the one sing...

Mind you, I missed out the word 'middle class’ in the title.  It has taken me a few years, a lot of weddings I shoot, and a very good dinner date with this amazing lady who I won’t name, to realise that we as South Indian kids have got the whole concept of love wrong.  Well, not wrong entirely, but let’s just say that the kind of normal punjabi house hold love, was only Karan Johar movies for us. I didn’t realise that was normal for them, until one day a punjabi friend told me I do not know how to love someone.  I found that very odd and strange to believe, because I for a fact was sure that I love a lot of my friends, I love my family, I love coffee too (ok it’s not a human being, but it could be!!) . So what did she really mean by it? OK yes it took me very long to hug someone and not be awkward, I have never kissed my friends on their cheeks, like all those typical Instagram photos of girlfriends. I never hugged my mom every morning for 20 years o...

I apologise for the silence from my end. I know it's been a while. But it's given me some times to think, and now I wonder. Does everybody judge everyone else's choices around them? I have been asked this question a billion times so far, 'Are you not going to shift to America like your brother and find a well paying job?'   NO      What is wrong with what I do now? So last evening I bumped into an old aunty who used to live in the adjoining building to us. She had only two question to ask me beyond the courteous how are you, 'What do you do apart from photography for work' I very hesitantly responded, 'That is what I do for a living, and I love my job', to which she checked me out head to toe like oh dear god, give this poor child some sense. Her second question to me was 'Your brother is of marriageable age, so when will he get married?' To which I smiled and replied, 'Why does everyone get married?' She instantly cross...

Ever wonder why they call it Self Help? Well it had been a while since I wanted to read one, so recently I picked up one called, non violent communication. It spoke about various aspects in life. But out of all I read, I picked up on this one thing that stuck to me like nothing else. (little did I know reading on flights would help so much)  How do we project anger? Did you ever just stop to think? Our hearts does a lot more than just pump blood to our body and lee us alive. It leads to the stomach. The stomach that doesn’t just digest food, but also is the pit to all your feelings.  Do you ever feel hollow even after you’ve eaten? If yes, you know what I mean.  Sometimes we say a lot of things without understanding, but it is in the spur of the moment. Sometimes we pile things up in our hearts and the just spill it out all at once, because we have been scared to say it all this while. But who have we been scared to say it to? Ourselves or someone el...

I’m sure you all know when one says that. Ever wondered how that works with life? Be it relationships, or work, it’s always going to take a huge chunk out of your life.  So here’s a question, and no, I don’t need an answer out loud, this one is just for you ; Do you love your bed more than yourself? I’m sorry to disrupt this relationship a little bit, but I need you to do this for me.  So one day is fairly long right? we do have time to gossip, or just sit and stare into blank space?  Well…. what if we take that time and just do something we like? Don’t be too lazy, come on, I know you can do it. Carry that book around in your bag if that makes you feel better.  You like food? or just a quiet cup of coffee by yourself? Ok great, whats stopping you from doing that?  It’ll take you only 15 minutes I promise.  Please give it a shot? Much like the yummy food we eat, our brain may like some of it too. Lets all take some time out of ou...

To a generation seduced by technology, will we have the kind of love we read in books? Or will be look like catalog photos of a magazine advertising for it's latest gadgets? Will our house be filled with electronics and e books? Or filled with some photos and artefacts from the places of our travel. Will the world forget the sheer happiness of the smell of an old book? Or to find an old tiny daisy for a bookmark? The definition of 'Love' can be different for different people, clearly mine was written back in the 1980's. The joy of coming back home to family/ lover, pre cooked hot dinner waiting for you, and some bonding time over a hot beverage?  (yea ok, I'm old) Today, we all realise it's a rate race. Everyone is running to make ends meet, make jobs work, somehow squeeze time on a weekend to meet a few friends. Guess what, we all know it's going to be like this for a couple of years now. Meeting people on dates may become usual, and making fun of t...

A year later, today here I am, sitting up at 2am and writing this. A lot of things have changed. My love for colours, doing things I like, unapologetically, sitting in a cafe and sipping on my coffee alone, happily.  I am finally able to go back to those relations I left behind when I was afraid I will screw them up eventually. School friends, some parts of my family, and well, honestly, me. There were parts to my life that I had completely refused to acknowledge. Today, I am able to go back to them without having an anxiety attack. Yes, I still have those tiny phases when I just want to be alone, walk home from work, so I get that little time and space for myself, but hey! Who doesn’t want that? That’s perfectly normal right :D  ( that is if there is something that is normal)  I learnt how to start to love myself.  I slowly started to give up the patterns that had built up through these years. Self victimisation, inflicting pain ...

It's almost time and I'm in my window seat, staring out before my flight takes off. If anyone happens to notice me before a flight, they'd think I'm weird.   (not like they doubted it before).    I'm generally staring aimlessly into blank space. Though it looks like that, my head goes wondering into a million hemispheres, & zones of imagination.Those dreams still unachieved, and the journey of self discovery begins the minute I get to the airport and this journey is about to start. The view from the window changes with every passing second & my heart starts racing and the endless dreaming begins. What does one see when seated on an aisle seat? I wonder. The guy on the aisle seat is generally already watching the television on his screen or reading his book. If gets me thinking, isn't he excited? What's his story? Why is he watching movies before the flight has even taken off? This time, I was less nervous and more excited as I was going to a cit...

As I for the n'th time shamelessly watch 'Julie & Julia', I can't stop but wonder how it would be like to really live in that generation, of the early 1980's, where people would send out family postcards, letters to communicate, use cookbooks and not printed recipes to try something new in the kitchen,  and typewriters existed. Wow thats a long sentence and lot to wonder about. How grateful I am to be a 90's kid, where mother's wearing crisp cotton sari's was the most fashionable garment ever, a time where floppy's and cassettes were hip and happening (thank you father),  and a video game?! Boy oh boy, was the best thing ever or what! Did that now bring a smile to your face? Wonderful. Girls, do you feel like a cotton sari right now? or may be a tazzo? or some 'wwf cards'? (yes girls played that too) Boys, may be open up a cpu? or just bullie your sibling? Given our time and age, call me old fashioned, but yes, I sure live in ...

HELLO  HYDERABAD.  My first ever flight to Hyderbad was a nightmare. I had a terrible anxiety attack and broke down, on that plane. It was a midnight flight, so luckily the lights went out, at least for a while. Within seconds the tears came rolling down and i couldn’t stop it. I didn’t know anyone. New job, new place, and I wound up there, all alone. It was minutes later that the lights came back on, and the flight attendant came up to me and asked me if I was ok, and if I needed anything. She insisted on a cup of tea, and I cannot be more grateful. That hot cup of tea, sure did some good. I managed to hold a breath and stopped sobbing. The tea felt more refreshing than ever and I started to feel my body calm down.  As my flight landed, I said goodbye to the attendant with the broadest smile and wet eyes. She hugged me and said goodbye. I thought to myself, this could’ve been worst.  As I got my baggage and left to go to my hotel, I happened to gaze...